2009年3月21日 星期六

與夜間的士司機叔叔的對話

很久沒寫東西了,連英文都沒有寫,寫作是用力的,特別是中文,打幾隻字就累死人.沒事幹寫下寫下都覺得:又ok呀.點知一開工就mood都冇晒.過了好多日終於遇到些值得花氣力寫的事情.

上星期六晚參加了表姊Edwina在尖沙咀的化妝生日會,個Party在間'Club'開了間VIP房,任飲男仔$260一位,女仔$220.比面Edwina冇得飲都去,想扮MatrixNeo或賭神,最後扮左賭神.

當夜像一般的派對,見到大家自己都幾開心,認識幾位新朋友,影下相,生日蛋糕,玩下骰盅,其他人唱下卡拉OK等.

如果不是星期六第二日要返教會,可以去盡d,到了清晨一點半左右就先走.

人生有趣的地方是你永遠都不知道是誰改變你的命運,好像'奇幻逆緣(the curious case of benjamin button)'內的對白:You never know what's comin' for ya.

人往往期望或以為一些成功,他們看得起的人才會帶給他們命運的改變,最後卻發現改變你命運的人總是一些你身邊的無名氏,一本你沉悶得發慌才看的書,或乘車時旁邊一個講電話的人,一個睡不著才看的電視節目.

清晨一點半沒有火車,就上了在club門口等待的一架的士出沙田.

飲了幾杯如水的'之華氏',加幾瓶啤酒,十分清醒,同個司機叔叔聊天.就是這樣才發現一程的士是整晚的戲肉.

問下司機叔叔而家係咪全部的士都係石油氣,做左幾耐,原來已經做了三十五年,差不多退休,兩個仔都大過我結晒婚...

司機叔叔:你咁後生大把前途啦.

自己:個個後生都以為自己天下無敵大把前途架啦.

司機叔叔:後生你就鍾意玩,見識多d.有冇女朋友呀?

自己:有...

司機叔叔:我同你講,咩都可以玩,感情千萬唔好玩...

自己:唔唔,試過兩三次就知.(其實我未試過玩)

司機叔叔:係呀, 試過兩三次就知.

自己: 即係你試過啦.

司機叔叔:係呀,當你見到個女仔你自己會好痛苦.

自己:唔唔.

司機叔叔:我同你講,當你有左新一個,就係你以前好鍾意個個搵返你,你都會覺得佢好討厭,你無辦法再喜歡佢.人就是會不斷向前,你沒有得選擇.

自己:(流汗中)前面轉左.

司機叔叔:o黎到停得唔得?

自己:(得到點解脫)ok.

停標$90.2,我比左張一百唔使找.

司機叔叔:多謝.

回家父母已經睡了,我一個人坐在自己的房裡面.

今晚個Party幾好玩,但d酒cheap到:比d'之華氏'稀過水,啤酒就比blue girls, 收就收$260,你同客計我就同佢計.飲你6枝啤,我知酒樓10蚊三枝,但係個道係尖沙咀上樓,d租一定貴,起碼40蚊枝.$40 x 6 = $240,加幾杯'之華氏'水,燈油火蠟水電煤等...

人在罪性中打滾沒有得選擇,需要的是解脫,盡管是短暫的,酒女人背後的吸引力就是短暫的解脫.我比$260得不到,間酒吧就不明白客人需要,只顧賺錢,我作為個客人就同你吝惜,同你計到盡.

個司機叔叔打開個心,盡管他不知道自己做了甚麼,我作為個客人得到解脫,盡管是短暫的,我就同佢慷慨,覺得10%的貼士都是超值.

所以聖經說:有施散的、卻更增添.有吝惜過度的、反致窮乏。好施捨的、必得豐裕.滋潤人的、必得滋潤。

我一年前已經想開間酒吧,這間酒吧要有最好的酒,最好的音樂,最好的服務,沒有人會同客人計錢,來的人都是充滿人生不同經歷,他們是世上的跑路人,他們唯一的共同點是要找個舒服的地方,暫時忘記現實的痛苦.他們的問題得到解決,付錢就甘心樂意.

因為愈來愈發現這個世界可花錢的人太多,可找到慰藉的地方極少,這也是符合市場學的supply and Demand.

這是給不願意接受救恩的第二選擇.這也是符合神學的所謂'普遍恩典'

做得正確會是一個Guarantee Success.

我把這間酒吧命名為The Salvation.

2009年2月26日 星期四

My First Job interview!

I think i had a good start in 2009, hippppppieeeeee!! ^_^

So today I have interview my first guy for my coming team as a manager, in order to build up a very solid foundation in insurance industry.

He is introduced by one of my clients.

You need to be very confident otherwise people disrespect you as a manager, you need to be someone people can look up to, rely on, at the same time you need to prepare to babysit, become a target for complaining, attack, abuse....etc i would like to quote one of my favorite books: the rules of management

"Careers adviser: What would you like to do when you leave school?

16-year-old: I want to be a manager.

Did this happen to you? No, me neither. But there you are anyway.

As a manager you are expected to be a lot of things. A tower of strength, a leader and innovator, a magician (conjuring up pay rise, resources and extra staff at the drop of a hat), a kindly uncle/aunt, a shoulder to cry on, a dynamic motivator, a stern but fair judge, a diplomat, a politician, a financial wizard (no, this is quite different from being a magician), a protector, a Saviour and a saint.

you are responsible for a whole gang of people that you probably did not pick, may not like, might have nothing in common with and who perhaps won't like you much."

hmmmmm, sounds great! >.<

This guy came to me, and guess what he told me? that he got a PHD and huge human network if he make some phone calls his friends will come, do anything, block bullets and die for him? not really...

He was telling me he has lost both of his parents, currently unemployed, her elder sister just got marry can barely support the family, 2 of his younger sisters are still studying, he is getting Comprehensive Social Security Assistance from the government.

I cannot help it but immediately want to help him, the more i work in the company, the more i see in this industry, the more i understand the beauty of this industry is you can never underestimate anyone.

People living in the society, their dress always imply how successful they are, but it does not in insurance, the top sales are not some handsome man who can talk like a charm, but some 40 years old women you can't even remember her face on the street when she walked pass you.

People who is earning million a year probably someone you find his looks funny, and point out laughing.

And you can also find some nice people in the office always produce so little pleasing their manager is their only way to survive.

So I would like to say I am so confident things will turn out great, I do not need a PHD or someone got IQ150, I need someone who work hard and stay strong and consistent and reliable, don't care if he is gay or under dog or dress up like a Santa Claus.

Man, hope is awesome!

2009年1月21日 星期三

Salesman and Obama

Company require us to meet up with our manager to discuss our new year plan, how to improve performance and such, then we had a day training.

So I went in to see my manager's manager's manager to discuss my "career", he is a nice guy holding a PHD in phiolophy, deep thinker...

Since my performance did not go so well in the last 6 months, he needed to talk to me and see what is going on.

I explain I have problem adjusting my brain to this new envirnoment, and the most fundamental problem is it is hard for me accepting my job position is a salesman, which I have never thought it would be.

There are a lot of reason, and of course it includes I was educated in England, and my family value myself very high, and this job can basically fit everyone, from freshly graduate from high school to PHD holder. I would expect I should be someone more "important" than a regular salesman after my education background.

As expected this manager have to resolve my issue.

He told me he sees himself as a educator (obviously), I think there were few good points to make me feel better.

In someway all of us are keep selling something in our life, when we say nice things or we chase after skirts, we are selling ourself as a good person or a good boyfriend.

CEO need to sold and present his ability as a management material.

And we all sell ourselves when we do job interview.

Obama sold the concept of "change" successfully, he did not even get to mention what is the contents of "change"? at least our policy clearly states how much will our client get after certain years, and people buy that idea and the whole country embrace himself.

I can even say my dad is selling Jesus and salvation all his life as a preacher.

I finally start to understand and pay respect to this job and not influence by the social value about salesmen, its function and conept lies within us, the only problem is I need to be surethe product I am selling are good for the clients, there is nothing to feel ashame of.

I hope I will be better this year, even I have said that, I want to get on to management levels asap because my strength do not lie in selling but management.

p.s. i did not want to debate with my manager, there is different between salesman and obama, the amercian do not have to pay money now, that's much easier :)

Crazy woman at breakfast

After the morning trainning i went downstair for a breakfast alone.

After getting the food from the fast food shop, I was looking for a place to sit down to enjoy my breakfast, then i saw this weird woman sitting alone look like talking to herself.

I intend to sit opposite to her and see what is going on because i feel there is nobody sit around her while she is pointing fingers in the air.

after the depression and the conversion, I have not much fear towards people, esp. strange people, you see normal people are classify as normal sit on the culture and society value, while strange people can be pioneer, great artist, philosophy, even jesus was consider to be crazy at his time (maybe even now), as well as Newton, Estein, etc.

Anyway, she is totally talking to herself, i think her mental status have already constrain to a stage she is totally living in her own world, it could be something big hit her so hard made her become crazy.

I was at the edge of this stage for couple months, the different is i struggled, being saved then come out afterward.

And when someone have gone through great tragic, either they have changed to someone cruel, very defensive or have total symapthy towards the others, I am glad i was the last type and i know few of my friends have become the first and second.

She took out her nail clip and use it as a mirror to put her lip stick on, then talking at a direction repeated and i think she pretend singing at one stage, and suddenly laugh, i assume her brain came out some sort of happy memory and it trapped her mind, later on become a lot of foul lauguage and curse.

I was having my noodles and looking at her the same time. she need two slaps in order to get her attention, obviously i could not do that.

I wish i could do something but there is nothing i can do, i can only imagine when i was at that stage and trying to get out from a mind trap which was totally helpless.

And i remember those who hurt me and why i wanted to seek for a revenage because i did not understand something lead to a mental disorder, i needed a bigger impact to wake me up, so i coughed twice loudly, right in front of her, she has no respond even i did that when i was only 15 cm away from her.

As I walk away, she is still enjoying her dream, i fully understand what she is going through more than herself, but there is so much man cannot do.

This is the other view of the city Hong Kong.

140 Million of the population is undergoing light depression, 70 Million is currently on medication.

I started to understand when bible said, God let His people to suffer in order to become consolation of the others, and God did let me suffer and become sensitive to pain, i wish i can blame someone or something, but it is not important anymore.

Hong Kong's Function as a gear

The best thing i have learnt in the 6 months in China is an analogy my ex-boss told me proudly, I assume he discover that himself.

He describe this world, or a country, or a society as a complex machine, people are like components, there are small gears and big gears, the small gear has to turn many times to move the big gear a little bit.

Yet when the big gear turn just one click, many small gears have to go red hot in order to adapt.

That's why the bottom of the society everyone has to run very fast, while the people who has power don't speak much.

That's how I would describe Hong Kong, highly efficient and fast pace city, people's rhythm is insanely high, small gear.

When I went to China, most people think that's chanellenaging, advantures, even though hard to imagine how difficult it would be, but still in some way feel that's respectful.

While when I came back to Hong Kong, one of my close friends told me: Calvin, You have seen the world.

The meaning underneath it is Hong Kong is a small place, you belong to something bigger (i added the last bit to make me look good:)

I agreed with him, but then when I am actually working here, i start to understand it from another point of view.

The fact has not changed, Hong Kong is small, fast pace, it can never develop into something important, it will always do export and import, trading, financial and service provider, no production, no fancy invention, no artist, no nobel price winner.

Yet the longer I understand Hong Kong, the more I can see Hong Kong 's function is critical internationally.

It lies between the western and eastern world, act as a perfect channel to mix two opposite culture, we are capable to understand both side and become the perfect intermediate gear to let them engage each other.

this small gear between two machine is esstential, unique and irreplaceable, if you talk about similar city like tokyo, singapore, etc they cannot compare and replace what Hong Kong is/can do.

I am not saying my ex-boss and my friend are wrong, but sometimes small things does matter to the whole picture.

Have you not heard in a car, a turbo device only weight 1/20 of the engine but its capable to boast the power up to 30%?

When the car is in full throttle, the engine only run at 300-400rpm, but the turbine in the turbo is running up to 11000rpm, the material has to special picked using alloy to prevent it from melting.

That's the function of Hong Kong, when the Engine (China/ Europe) start to run, we will witness the importance of Hong Kong more obviously.

She will be running full speed and hot as hell.... >.< work it people!

2009年1月14日 星期三

Made my day

In English whoever got a unexpected good moment in a day we use the phrase: you have made my day.

It could be an appreciation sentence, could be someone did something nice for you or something just make you feel very nice, brighten up your day since we don't have that 99% of our time.

Guess who have made my day?

Few that follow my working dairy (some of them are in chinese) that knew there were this boy being introduced by my cousin to help his English, he is about 8 years old, smart but lack of confident.

And i gumble (well, not that bad but i like to gumble) I have to take train to a village (yes, a village in Hong Kong!) far away every thursday night for a 100 bucks, it took away my appointment time slot, as well as the resting time at home.

Anyway, he was totally lack of interest in English, basically it is because he cannot succeed in it, and very concentrate on his artistic side - drawing, which he finds extremely easy.

We got along very well since i see a lot of me in him, and rebuild his confident little by little, before i came, his best english exam result is 40%, mostly got 10, 20% even 0%, his mum has been scolded, beat, encourage, ........... he just would not do it, as I have mentioned before, in one occassion he feared to look at his score so much he actually ran into the dark bedroom and cover his eyes shout: don't tell me!

Yet he is too lovable that his teachers and everyone just let him slip away easily, saying it is alright.

About 2 months ago his mum has ended the teaching due to family issues.

He texted me yestersday saying he got 98% in an English test!

I thought what i did was stupid, just like i said i don't care about money, i don't care about respect, i don't care about my image, i don't care about appreciation, and i don't care about blessing.

I didn't care when I did not have it, and when I have it, it feels vey nice after all.

Jason, you are not old enough to read this, even though I have earned about 800 bucks from your mum and the transportation have already taken 30% of it, totally not cost effective and time consuming, but it worths it, well done, good man. *thumb up*

Birthday Present

people like me won't throw big party, from my point of view if 200 people attend my party, 95% i do not know, or hi bye friend, they go for different reason, meet new friends, etcetc, then i rather stick with that 5% close friends to have a close gathering = more fun.

Even though I have said that, i think this job change me bits by bits, what's wrong with creating an event using my birthday as an excuse to let people meet new friends? Isn't that the church make a day for Jesus call it Christmas so people can make money and look for one night stand? it works pretty well so far (sarcastically)

My 27 years old has nothing special, have some personal meaning at night, appreciate those who care about my existence and not arrogant enough to think the whole world should know me, glad my attitude has improved too.

So my parents who love me so much did not use to get me presents, like "super-spiritual" and totally "anit-down-to-earth" religious background this year they have changed too.

My mum used her kindergarten grade PowerPoint skill made me a birthday poster and stick it on my bedroom door.

Then they told me the 10K Hong Kong Dollar in my bank will be given to me instead of lend it to me! And she got me a chair from Ikea! compare to no presents day, can you believe how happy I am?

So I have started to plan to use them wisely.

According the book about Warren Buffet, if you give him 10K US in 1956, he will return 270 Million in 2002 that you have to do nothing. I can never be as good as him, but if i invest instead of getting something expensive for myself, it can acc. up to 2-3 Million in 10-15 years.

But I don't need that much of money, and sacrifice my personal enjoyment, you see money are useful when they are spent after all, what if i got 100 billion in my bank account that i only treat myself like shxt, that's not a life.

Then there are couple things i want to buy.

A PC driving game called GRID to replace that crappy NFS: undercover fooled by Maggie Q's cover I got 2 months ago, haha.

Or a digital camera which i still havn't got one (not even in my phone), hmmmmmm.. tempting

Or a proper mobile phone to replace my mono-color screen Nokia, tempting too.

Or get a tank of fish to brighten up my boring office desk.

Or donate them as charity. (very unlikely)

Or ..... do nothing... na.. got great ideas.