Salesman and Obama

Company require us to meet up with our manager to discuss our new year plan, how to improve performance and such, then we had a day training.

So I went in to see my manager's manager's manager to discuss my "career", he is a nice guy holding a PHD in phiolophy, deep thinker...

Since my performance did not go so well in the last 6 months, he needed to talk to me and see what is going on.

I explain I have problem adjusting my brain to this new envirnoment, and the most fundamental problem is it is hard for me accepting my job position is a salesman, which I have never thought it would be.

There are a lot of reason, and of course it includes I was educated in England, and my family value myself very high, and this job can basically fit everyone, from freshly graduate from high school to PHD holder. I would expect I should be someone more "important" than a regular salesman after my education background.

As expected this manager have to resolve my issue.

He told me he sees himself as a educator (obviously), I think there were few good points to make me feel better.

In someway all of us are keep selling something in our life, when we say nice things or we chase after skirts, we are selling ourself as a good person or a good boyfriend.

CEO need to sold and present his ability as a management material.

And we all sell ourselves when we do job interview.

Obama sold the concept of "change" successfully, he did not even get to mention what is the contents of "change"? at least our policy clearly states how much will our client get after certain years, and people buy that idea and the whole country embrace himself.

I can even say my dad is selling Jesus and salvation all his life as a preacher.

I finally start to understand and pay respect to this job and not influence by the social value about salesmen, its function and conept lies within us, the only problem is I need to be surethe product I am selling are good for the clients, there is nothing to feel ashame of.

I hope I will be better this year, even I have said that, I want to get on to management levels asap because my strength do not lie in selling but management.

p.s. i did not want to debate with my manager, there is different between salesman and obama, the amercian do not have to pay money now, that's much easier :)

Crazy woman at breakfast

After the morning trainning i went downstair for a breakfast alone.

After getting the food from the fast food shop, I was looking for a place to sit down to enjoy my breakfast, then i saw this weird woman sitting alone look like talking to herself.

I intend to sit opposite to her and see what is going on because i feel there is nobody sit around her while she is pointing fingers in the air.

after the depression and the conversion, I have not much fear towards people, esp. strange people, you see normal people are classify as normal sit on the culture and society value, while strange people can be pioneer, great artist, philosophy, even jesus was consider to be crazy at his time (maybe even now), as well as Newton, Estein, etc.

Anyway, she is totally talking to herself, i think her mental status have already constrain to a stage she is totally living in her own world, it could be something big hit her so hard made her become crazy.

I was at the edge of this stage for couple months, the different is i struggled, being saved then come out afterward.

And when someone have gone through great tragic, either they have changed to someone cruel, very defensive or have total symapthy towards the others, I am glad i was the last type and i know few of my friends have become the first and second.

She took out her nail clip and use it as a mirror to put her lip stick on, then talking at a direction repeated and i think she pretend singing at one stage, and suddenly laugh, i assume her brain came out some sort of happy memory and it trapped her mind, later on become a lot of foul lauguage and curse.

I was having my noodles and looking at her the same time. she need two slaps in order to get her attention, obviously i could not do that.

I wish i could do something but there is nothing i can do, i can only imagine when i was at that stage and trying to get out from a mind trap which was totally helpless.

And i remember those who hurt me and why i wanted to seek for a revenage because i did not understand something lead to a mental disorder, i needed a bigger impact to wake me up, so i coughed twice loudly, right in front of her, she has no respond even i did that when i was only 15 cm away from her.

As I walk away, she is still enjoying her dream, i fully understand what she is going through more than herself, but there is so much man cannot do.

This is the other view of the city Hong Kong.

140 Million of the population is undergoing light depression, 70 Million is currently on medication.

I started to understand when bible said, God let His people to suffer in order to become consolation of the others, and God did let me suffer and become sensitive to pain, i wish i can blame someone or something, but it is not important anymore.

Hong Kong's Function as a gear

The best thing i have learnt in the 6 months in China is an analogy my ex-boss told me proudly, I assume he discover that himself.

He describe this world, or a country, or a society as a complex machine, people are like components, there are small gears and big gears, the small gear has to turn many times to move the big gear a little bit.

Yet when the big gear turn just one click, many small gears have to go red hot in order to adapt.

That's why the bottom of the society everyone has to run very fast, while the people who has power don't speak much.

That's how I would describe Hong Kong, highly efficient and fast pace city, people's rhythm is insanely high, small gear.

When I went to China, most people think that's chanellenaging, advantures, even though hard to imagine how difficult it would be, but still in some way feel that's respectful.

While when I came back to Hong Kong, one of my close friends told me: Calvin, You have seen the world.

The meaning underneath it is Hong Kong is a small place, you belong to something bigger (i added the last bit to make me look good:)

I agreed with him, but then when I am actually working here, i start to understand it from another point of view.

The fact has not changed, Hong Kong is small, fast pace, it can never develop into something important, it will always do export and import, trading, financial and service provider, no production, no fancy invention, no artist, no nobel price winner.

Yet the longer I understand Hong Kong, the more I can see Hong Kong 's function is critical internationally.

It lies between the western and eastern world, act as a perfect channel to mix two opposite culture, we are capable to understand both side and become the perfect intermediate gear to let them engage each other.

this small gear between two machine is esstential, unique and irreplaceable, if you talk about similar city like tokyo, singapore, etc they cannot compare and replace what Hong Kong is/can do.

I am not saying my ex-boss and my friend are wrong, but sometimes small things does matter to the whole picture.

Have you not heard in a car, a turbo device only weight 1/20 of the engine but its capable to boast the power up to 30%?

When the car is in full throttle, the engine only run at 300-400rpm, but the turbine in the turbo is running up to 11000rpm, the material has to special picked using alloy to prevent it from melting.

That's the function of Hong Kong, when the Engine (China/ Europe) start to run, we will witness the importance of Hong Kong more obviously.

She will be running full speed and hot as hell.... >.< work it people!

Made my day

In English whoever got a unexpected good moment in a day we use the phrase: you have made my day.

It could be an appreciation sentence, could be someone did something nice for you or something just make you feel very nice, brighten up your day since we don't have that 99% of our time.

Guess who have made my day?

Few that follow my working dairy (some of them are in chinese) that knew there were this boy being introduced by my cousin to help his English, he is about 8 years old, smart but lack of confident.

And i gumble (well, not that bad but i like to gumble) I have to take train to a village (yes, a village in Hong Kong!) far away every thursday night for a 100 bucks, it took away my appointment time slot, as well as the resting time at home.

Anyway, he was totally lack of interest in English, basically it is because he cannot succeed in it, and very concentrate on his artistic side - drawing, which he finds extremely easy.

We got along very well since i see a lot of me in him, and rebuild his confident little by little, before i came, his best english exam result is 40%, mostly got 10, 20% even 0%, his mum has been scolded, beat, encourage, ........... he just would not do it, as I have mentioned before, in one occassion he feared to look at his score so much he actually ran into the dark bedroom and cover his eyes shout: don't tell me!

Yet he is too lovable that his teachers and everyone just let him slip away easily, saying it is alright.

About 2 months ago his mum has ended the teaching due to family issues.

He texted me yestersday saying he got 98% in an English test!

I thought what i did was stupid, just like i said i don't care about money, i don't care about respect, i don't care about my image, i don't care about appreciation, and i don't care about blessing.

I didn't care when I did not have it, and when I have it, it feels vey nice after all.

Jason, you are not old enough to read this, even though I have earned about 800 bucks from your mum and the transportation have already taken 30% of it, totally not cost effective and time consuming, but it worths it, well done, good man. *thumb up*

Birthday Present

people like me won't throw big party, from my point of view if 200 people attend my party, 95% i do not know, or hi bye friend, they go for different reason, meet new friends, etcetc, then i rather stick with that 5% close friends to have a close gathering = more fun.

Even though I have said that, i think this job change me bits by bits, what's wrong with creating an event using my birthday as an excuse to let people meet new friends? Isn't that the church make a day for Jesus call it Christmas so people can make money and look for one night stand? it works pretty well so far (sarcastically)

My 27 years old has nothing special, have some personal meaning at night, appreciate those who care about my existence and not arrogant enough to think the whole world should know me, glad my attitude has improved too.

So my parents who love me so much did not use to get me presents, like "super-spiritual" and totally "anit-down-to-earth" religious background this year they have changed too.

My mum used her kindergarten grade PowerPoint skill made me a birthday poster and stick it on my bedroom door.

Then they told me the 10K Hong Kong Dollar in my bank will be given to me instead of lend it to me! And she got me a chair from Ikea! compare to no presents day, can you believe how happy I am?

So I have started to plan to use them wisely.

According the book about Warren Buffet, if you give him 10K US in 1956, he will return 270 Million in 2002 that you have to do nothing. I can never be as good as him, but if i invest instead of getting something expensive for myself, it can acc. up to 2-3 Million in 10-15 years.

But I don't need that much of money, and sacrifice my personal enjoyment, you see money are useful when they are spent after all, what if i got 100 billion in my bank account that i only treat myself like shxt, that's not a life.

Then there are couple things i want to buy.

A PC driving game called GRID to replace that crappy NFS: undercover fooled by Maggie Q's cover I got 2 months ago, haha.

Or a digital camera which i still havn't got one (not even in my phone), hmmmmmm.. tempting

Or a proper mobile phone to replace my mono-color screen Nokia, tempting too.

Or get a tank of fish to brighten up my boring office desk.

Or donate them as charity. (very unlikely)

Or ..... do nothing... na.. got great ideas.

When architect meets insurance

Today i have signed a life saving plan with a architect friend who is still working in England.

since our office is changing to smart office (paperless), they have to break down all the individual meeting rooms, we have to do it in the conference room.

Anyway, i show him my working area, which is a 2m x 1m x 1.5m high desk with chair and a drawer. He mentioned he does not really like the design of our office, with all the high wall build up between desk, actually most of the insurance company office is like that.

That's what the company intend to do, work as individual, the less communication as possible, isolated, people don't talk to other, it is crazy! sometimes most agents don't even smile or look at you when they walk past, it's like everyone is totally invisible to them!

the longer they serve, the more it becomes, frankly i am happy my boss isn't like that, still 20 years + you can still tell there can be no honest conversation, ok, maybe honest is a bit too much, just normal plain conversation, e.g. what you doing during the weekend, what you having lunch?

they don't even encourage colleagues have lunch together, it means you have no appointment with clients! it is logical but sad..

I hope I can break the chain and make some change in the office, i think i feel this way as a normal person, it is intolerant for an architect which work about design and stuffs.

ok, i admit i am a little bit over-dramatic, it isn't that bad to me, actually i start to enjoy it, i am thinking getting a tank of fish on my desk, and a proper computer.

but i am making the point sometimes a job look nice, working a big firm, get a lot of flexible time, or when people want to make big money, there is a price to pay.

Human iceberg

does it occur to you when you look at a 6"2 tall man weight 220lbs you feel he can definitely beat someone to death?

or a extremely hot woman she is probably very good in bed?

or a millionaire he/she should not have any worries in his/her life?

Of course not, the % of billionaire commit suicide is much higher than normal people, and people who are good in bed probably look very normal, murders always look very kind and slim. Yet still our perspective always guide us to link the image of one person to another.

i start to love my job because it kept telling my incorrect point of view towards human from the past, how i look and judge people, even those i know for 10, 20 years.

you see people are like iceberg, 90% of our mass and stuffs go under water, and that 10% above water cannot tell you much, that's how we dress, how we talk, how we present ourselves and it can go completely wrong.

and people don't have time or bother to go under water and look at it, maybe that is impolite to dig deeper, yet how much we have under water can be tested when crisis comes along, people who are heavy do not flow or moved easily, and those who have nothing below water and waste most of their time shaping the 10% will be blow away like feather.

i really like what my boss have taught me: it is not about who you know, it is about how much you know.

Little women

Little Women or, Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy is a novel by American author Louisa May Alcott (1832–1888). Written and published in two parts in 1868 and 1869, the novel follows the lives of four sisters — Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March — and is loosely based on the author's childhood experiences with her three sisters.

I honestly feel this book have influenced a lot of successful stories and drama e.g. Friends, Desperate Housewives, etc which draw pictures of small people with close relationship.

It is never about changing the world nor saving the humanity, or going to the moon.

The reason why I have chosen this topic is because we had an annual meeting for Manulife the insurance company 2 days ago, since the economy went down, the insurance company have to cut down the cost in making a good mood! that affect the location of the events, the quality of the promotion, etc.

Basically this sort of meeting are held once a year, all agents (around 3500 people) have to go there to listen some bullshit they try to inject in our brain.

This year's theme is the "art of war" by Sun Tzu, manulife have taken the 5 elements within it but totally abuse the true meaning, but well, it is about the mood with drums and everything make people believe what they are saying, that's not important.

To me, insurance in board view can be extremely complex, it cannot fit into one men's brain because the system is too complex for one man to handle.

But fundamentally why people chosen to have protection is not black and white or how much money, people are looking for caring and listener, support and friendship, someone they can see and rely on, not a piece of paper that can be claim money when they are dead.

When it comes to that, I suddenly realise what have the whole insurance industry has gone wrong, there should be millions of little stories like little women happening in real life, together it construct an extremely large human network around the world, instead of % on the huge projector saying: we are winning!

What the fxxk is that? the system is like a skeleton of the building, but what people care is not the skeleton of the building, but how they feel comfortable living within it.

after 6 months, I finally realise why people hate insurance agents so much, not because the system has anything wrong, but it is how the insurance company train us in a wrong direction.

We don't sell policy, we sell protection.

We don't sell funds, we sell relationship.

We don't sell the company, we sell trust.

Wargame...

Today i have joined my friends to the first wargame, it felt great! i always had love for guns and battles and wars.

thanks to my cousin she was awesome with her husband to make this happen.

i had a close encounter experience have people fight each other, it is only a game but when you are in it, you want to take it seriously, freakly tired.

it is always different when you imagine in your head and actually do it, holding a airsoft gun and clicking a mouse button to play a first person shooter already have a lot of different, i cannot imagine how much different it must be to be in a real war firing a real gun.

when i was back in uk doing my computering business, i met this British solider who was serving in iraq who wanted to get a gaming computer for his birthday present. talking to him on the MSN stating he has his UK standard rifle next to him make me feel so cool, then i realized it was not that cool after all.

i felt my strength start to build up after my mindset was fixed, still i was not able to claw between the grass for a very long time.

yet a very big impact to me today is i want to know more, experience more, because when people say i know something and he did not actually did it once, you cannot take his/her words seriously.

driving game and real car is different

watch the animals in TV and really get close to them in real life is different

how would people feel and behave differently when it comes to war and fighting?

I asked the instructor about something with the sniper in wargame. he said in a real war, the sniper range 800-1000m while a normal rifle range around 300-400m, when a solider ed to run from 800m to 300m able to put the sniper in his attack range, he has to run 400-500m between covers carry 20+kg load.

but in a wargame, an airsoft sniper rifle has only 60feet range while an airsoft normal rifle have range around 40 feet, it is pointless because the player only need to run about 20 feet to put the sniper in his own attack range.

there is still a huge different between war game and real war...