水

原文

天下莫柔弱於水，而攻堅強者莫之能勝，其無以易之。「弱之勝強，柔之勝剛」，天下莫不知，莫能行。是以聖人云﹕「受國之垢，是謂社稷主；受國不祥，是爲天下王。」正言若反。

- 老子道德經 第七十八章

解釋

天 下萬物中沒有比水更柔弱的了，而再怎麼擅於攻擊堅強的也無法勝過水，因為水不管把它打成什麼形狀它始終還是水。以弱勝強，以柔克剛的道理，全天下沒有人不 知道的，但卻常做不到。所以聖人說：「能夠承擔並處理國家最污穢的事，才有資格當社稷的主人；能夠協調斡旋國家最不祥和的事，才能成為天下的王。」這就是 「以弱勝強，以柔克剛」的道理，其逆亦真。

*覺悟*

兩個砍柴人

作者﹕林青青

有一個年輕的柴夫到山上砍柴，不久，另一位老柴夫也來了。到了傍晚，年輕的柴夫發現，老柴夫雖然比他晚來，砍的柴卻比他多， 於是，他暗暗下了決定，隔天要更早到山上去砍柴。第二天，年輕柴夫很早就到林子裡，他心想：「這次我砍的柴一定比較多。」沒想到，當他挑著木頭回到柴房時 一看，老柴夫所砍下的柴，還是比他的多。

第三天，年輕柴夫決定，他不但要比老柴夫早到，還要比他晚下山，他心想，這次自己所砍的柴肯定比較多。沒想到，這一天，老柴夫砍下的木頭還是比他多。第四天、第五天也是一樣。

到了第六天，滿腹疑問的年輕柴夫終於忍不住了，他問老柴夫：「我比你早到、比你晚下山、比你年輕有力氣，為什麼我砍的木頭還是比你少？」

「年 輕人啊！」老柴夫拍拍他的肩膀說：「我每天下山回到家後，第一件事就是磨斧頭，可是你下班回到家後，卻因為太累就只顧著休息，斧頭都被你砍鈍了，所以，雖 然我比你老、比你晚到、比你早下班，但是我的斧頭卻比你利，我只要砍五刀，樹就倒了，你卻要砍十幾刀，樹才會倒。」年輕人終於恍然大悟。

Best things in life

Coming to the end of Q3 my business target still has a long way to go, i know at some point it will be a huge boost in career like air being compressed in the jet engine before ignition. yet i know my managers are worry because they do not want me to leave.

more than business i have little concern yet i want to stay longer in this insurance business, it made me see a lot of things esp. from a human perspective.

We make deals for babes, parents, children, teenagers, adults, grandparents, good people, bad people at different life stages, we also deal with sickness, critical illness, happiness and sadness, depression or "hyper-active" person.

It really makes me think what are the best things a man can have in life.

1. the best day in my life would be a gathering with true friends, no need to deal with annoying parents until family time when annoying is acceptable and enjoyable. no need to worry about money, no need to have a lot, but enough not to worry about, having drinks and doing non-sense purely because we can spare enough time to do whatever we want.

2. seeing justice to be served, not justice according to small minority who use justice as an excuse to serve their will to power, but we know unjust in this world are like iceberg being hidden underwater, although looking at those above surface is already disturbing enough, some must be taken care of out on the public.

3. being alone as much as i can, with enough things to occupy, sleep as i want, no parents walking around for a long period of time wondering why you ain't in bed, why you ain't eat this or that. i ain't in bed because i am not tired, i ain't eating because i am not hungry.

4. having a career who can truly serve some purpose, could be a boss, my down line not necessary like me but the truth is they are working for me whether they like it or not, don't mind if they talk bad behind my back, just don't bring trouble to me, bring me solutions. you bring me solution, i bring this world more solutions, you bring me trouble? i will bring this world more troubles.

5. having a good relationship with God everyday, occasionally sin for fun (ok, repent later), having a good relationship might not be having no conflict, God is a pain in the ass because He is always right, and I am always wrong. I want to be wrong but hell He gave me a position with acceptance and boundary for errors as long as i do not abuse it.

6. buy my parents a house, because when they get old they need return, at least a house with lift instead of walking stair, and the selfish reason behind is then i can have my freedom by living on my own.

7. treat my parents well when i found out i am a jerk to my parents, i know i am a jerk but i don't feel like it, or maybe i enjoy being a jerk at this very moment but soon i will change when i understand the position and feeling being a parent, but so far parents are annoying creatures.

8. meet the right one and make love to her. and hope that she will never cheat on myself.

9. this world cannot be change, but i can influence it as much as i want as long as i live.

10. being saved by a random guy i can never return my favor.

11. save someone and never meet him/her again.

12. get some serious but not too painful sickness, having a taste of heavy suffering make people more humble, understanding and mature.

13. be a successful and popular governor of any sort, a country, an organization or even a facebook group at a period of time, getting the feeling of true power, and knowing i have the ability to abuse it or use it for good, or both, hahahaha. fear me!

14. always give rather than take, but reserve the ability to take.

15. good sleep, never have that for a long time.

16. see a good friend get out of trouble.

17. marry the love of my life.

18. have as much kids as God can give me.

19. become the ultimate annoying dad, annoy my children 10 times more than how much my dad has annoyed myself.

20. watch my parents go to heaven peacefully, i always expect my dad will leave us first due to unknown reason and left me take care of my mother, maybe look at the pictures over and over again when she is too weak to out of bed, she will love that.

21. fxxk around with people who hate me with no reason, play around with them and know they can never hurt me, lol.

22. get to know the anti-christ who will bring the world to doom in the bible, walk up to him and say: i am sorry no matter what you do you will end up in hell, if i weren't saved i would probably be the best anti-christ.

23. have the guts to speak freely through out life.

24. entertain my grandchildren. be the annoying grandpa.

25. have some sort of annual gathering with the people i know, and i expect the table no. will increase every year exponentially.

26. everyone i know in my life will end up seeing in heaven too.

27. have a chance to do everything i was not able to do in my childhood.

28. the people love me will love me back, the way i want them to love, not gay those sort of love.

29. see two hot lesbian kissing (or just two hot women)

30. be a hero for at least one day. definition of hero? it is defined by the public not myself.

31. do some brave in my eye but totally embarrassing in others eyes.

32. drive some super cars.

33. make a woman say you are the best i ever had in bed (and i know it is true, not fake)

34. solve some sort of big problem for this world, but refuse the man-made rewards because of that. simply thank you is good enough.

35. fight someone and win!

36. be no. 1 in a field, even 1 time only.

37. make space travel available to civilian.

38. bitch slap someone.

39. see the one i love most die in my arm

40. die in the arm of the one love me most.

24 months of service

Step into July 2010. I have officially came back to Hong Kong for 2 years, just like every story teller, I have never thought what I step into. I kinda know there is a rare type of people they know exactly what they want and pursuit their goal way from the start, some might succeed some might fail, however I have to say I have no place to fit in that sort of catalog.

I had extremely huge ambition since I was young, I dream of changing the world, building space shuttle, make poor people become rich, become owner of weapon factories those sort of ideas. I am also ultra sensitive to the best, no. 1, top of the world sort of character, born on the 10th, January, every birthday with or without celebration does not affect how I feel about my life, esp. the idea of each of the person only live once. this sort of ideas still clicks today but when I have experience more in life, different sort of point of views jumps around you.

my youth dream is to be a car designer in US, with my engineering background and artistic talents i pictures it will be amazing, before dreaming about anything you shall might prepare for the worst and which i have also done that. When i was 15 one day i was waiting for train at the station i asked myself what if all my "big plans" do not work out? that i might have to live the most ordinary life, what would i do? then i saw the train coming towards me, i said, "well, to be a train driver, the track is there, there is only one way in Hong Kong, all i have to care about is stop and go, not a bad job huh?" problem sorted, at least that's what i thought.

Now the world watched the automotive giants in US has collapsed, it seems people who love to plan always miscalculate something. When I was back to Hong Kong, I had to choose a job within insurance finance, investment bank or properties, those kind of job nobody expect a university graduate should do. With all the respect it does not mean these jobs are disrespectful, but the society expect people with above average education would able to contribute more.

the funny thing about any story of life is there is no such thing, after unwillingly step into the insurance industry, i quickly discover something i have never seen in my life. Initially I would prefer to join an investment bank, but my logics force myself to make a more suitable choice which insurance is a human business, and investment bank is a money business, i would prefer the earlier option despite the fact the later seems more "main stream".

once again thanks God for making me NOT follow my feeling, after 2 months of service in Manulife, the Lehman Brothers fell like the first tower in 911, then AIG become the second tower. when I looked back, i felt like I was blindfolded and walk across a highway, somehow two massive trucks just missed me by inch.

After two years it still felt like a dream, I have gained so much from this job it is an eye opener. I met quite a few people, break down different kind of stereotypes, trying to understand what human being really is.

It seems to me people always believe a better future, yet everyone has their own interpretation of "better", a lot of people looking for success, yet everyone has their own image of successful.

I have met some really rich people who are really successful according to the social standard, yet their children pay not respect to their reputation, some have not succeed in marriage, friendship, even the most basic integrity. they try to be perfect, improve, upgrade, by all necessary mean they might have changed how people talk about them, and the world who worship their "success" might not even care about their personal life.

When you look at people like Tiger wood, his sponsors, supporters, investors have no interested into his relationship, or moral value as long as he can still perform which also mean able to make more money.

But is it making 2 more millions in one's life is more complete than having a health family? I have to say a absolutely no to that. Human is made to be differ from animals, no matter how people talk about efficiency, effectiveness, yet somehow i discover the lowest life form is the most efficient being, while top of the food chain are usually less efficient. are we trying to downgrade ourselves so that we can be more like an single cell Amoebae.

This sort of seeing totally breakdown my previous dream of changing the world, this world do not need more space shuttles or super cars, consider them as bonus and enjoyment, but this world do need more caring and connection between people.

The other insight I got in this two years is the definition of perfect. We can easily pictures a perfect match for us, a perfect car, a perfect family, a perfect body, a perfect house, a perfect life. People want to invent different kind of ways to perfect our world, yet why the world get more separate while we are trying to be more perfect.

I like to categorize people, like men/woman, outgoing/withdraw, loud/quiet. Now i have a new kind of catalog i can use. The people who live in the past, in the present and in the future.

When I looked back from time to time after numerous conversation with different people including myself, anyone who had the experience of falling in love is not someone perfect, people who has flaws, imperfect, not complete even idiotic, once you are in love, everyone is perfect in your eyes. this world is perfect, the annoying children are perfect, the ugly bastard always accuse me has become perfect, the bird shit is perfect, the noise from your neighbor has the most beautiful sound.

This can apply everywhere, sometimes a woman give birth to the most annoying selfish screaming not considerate child, yet this child is still perfect in this woman's eyes.

This is rarely hard to explain to people who have not conducted to their emotional side, people who still pursuit their own "perfection" by getting a bigger house, better car, most expensive hardware. this is like explaining the different of having sex and making love. same action, different foundation.

When I first joined the insurance industry, I thought it is easy, i just need to wear a pair of headset, like those emergency center, there would be people calling, ordering life insurance. It turns out to be the biggest jokes in my current district now.

However I thank God for opening a door for me, the chance to explore different area of life, i did not know there are a lot of people knows insurance is a huge business, people who are wanting to get rich and know selling insurance can become so rich. I have to say so far I have no luck in money, yet i know i will be wealthy rich one way or the other. but the fact that the enjoyment having a honest conversation with few people might have find this job more appealing than anything else in this world.

Hard to imagine, but that's reality, always looks unrealistic before anything happens. When it happens, they all seems logical.

The value of man

Everyday I want to write something down, then I become tired at night, cannot be bother to type chinese, then it get worest it is not my responsibility to write, then the question becomes what is responsibility, then the evolve into who give responsibility to a man? also what is the basic standard for an ordinary man?

soon my ambition developed through day dreaming has direct contact with my reality. I have a friend who studied pharmacist now working for a well-respected cancer doctor, I tried to consult him on the treatment of cancer, also asking for some hard fact regarding the face amount for those who purchase critical illness insurance.

He is really passionate about his job, I usually learn things from each conversation during the selling progress, neglect my prospect will eventually purchase an insurance policy through me or not. I found out the more I dropped my subjective point of view being set up through my life experience, each person no matter how insignificant people see him, he must have something to offer. I have to say some of times in our life are wasted, so are many people are wasting their life, he can speak tons of bullshit with heavy bias, unreal fantasy, he must have tiny small thing that's unique about him.

Anyway, the friend of mine really care about his patient, I would say he fulfill above average effort an ordinary pharmacist should perform, so once I asked him, who give you the responsibility to do this far while other pharmacists feel they have done enough. He replied the responsilibity is given to each person by themselves.

To me I don't have to care about a lot of stuffs, I do not have a lot of liability, no family on my shoulder, as long as I don't cause much trouble this world generally fine with me.

However when I think further about building space shuttle or saving the world, it is very likely I must compare myself with the normal standard a human being should able to fulfill.

My job is quite simple but not easy, I calculate my client's life value. To be precie if I have made an appointment with someone who is willing to talk about his/her life insurance (which usually not a lot of people who is ready to face the reality), before I start the "selling", I must discuss the undiscussable topic, how much do you worth?

Of course I have done that to myself, I am surprise a lot of insurance agents not willing to face the reality themselves before they go out trying to be "successful" in the company term. The question means if I am gone, dissappear right here right now, will I have any financial effect on the people around me?

If I do have financial effect, do I really care about that?

I must admit a lot of people who is unwilling to discuss the topics is because of fear, untrust, but I also have to admit there are few people who is unwilling to discuss this topic is because they already know there will be no effect.

It sounds really harsh but this world is harsh to a lot of us, I assume the government able to pay my funeral, it cost fuel to burn my body, as well as labor cost, management fee, head count, etc. That's the most basic responsibility I must take account, I leave couple thousand bucks to take care of my own body.

The hard fact about the value of a single adult man is the composition, mainly water, carbon and iron in my blood will cost only USD1, yes, really cheap.

There is a christian mythology the devil was once the best archangel, God created all angels in fire, and when he created men with dust yet put His own image into Adam, and put him in the position above angels, Luficer is pissed, and get insanely jealous of man, then it leads to an excuse for its later betrayal.

It asked, why I am more superior, more powerful, wiser, more intelligent being, yet my master put me under a being whom is weak, fragile, and created in dust? Sounds familiar with those compliant their bosses are stupid, the government is idiotic?

If the basic value of man is someone who create the same value which make his life sustainable, I am still unable to reached the most basic standard.

Oh yes, to be plain honest I am still a liability to my family, the government and this world, despite the resources I have already spent through my entire life.

There is a program on CBS made an interview with an american businessman, he is a celebrity agent, only he promote the deceased celebrities. The idea developed when he wanted to become agent for celebrity yet found out all the living one must already have the best agent. Therefore he created the idea of promoting the deceased celebrites, and this has made him a billionaries. He brought the legal use of the celebrities' prestige, talk to their family and set up an empire, selling icons, shirts, basically anything. People including James Dean, Elvis, some famous baseball players, the "best" thing about his business is the image of those people are already fixed, and presume it will last forever.

It proved some men's value are higher when they passed away than they are living. But they must have put a lot of effort while they are still living.

This is a totally different dimension, think about Issac Newtons who define the three laws for physics world, he was treated and attacked like a dog at his generation, at his old age his work finally recongised and he is given a minor medal of something, yet 1000 years later the NASA must use his principles for the moon mission. Now that's some value you can never calculate.

Some of my clients earn little, his life insurance face amount might not even fit shoes for the monthly salary of my other clients. Yet what they meant to their family which cannot be typed in my calculator, or we must give a name: the Intangible Assets. Usually are much more valuable.

This sort of insight has given me a new meaning of my job, and it does not and should not be defined by how much I have earned for my company.

最差的情人

今天下午在九龍灣德福見客，之後回公司前原本打算去IKEA看看有甚麼東西買，但中途經過書局就鑽了進去．看到巴菲特(Warren Buffett)傳－雪球(The Snowball)．很快就花了$233買了下來讀．

巴 菲特是投資神話，人們不相信神話情有可原，但如果這些「神話」已經成為事實，你很難明白為甚麼人還是否定他，這不單是行外人的無知，連行內人大部份也不願 意接受，甚至有時無意中和個別同事討論他的時候，他不但完全看不到差距有多大，而且會用不同藉口去認為巴菲特的成功很大部份是因為「運氣」．要是有能力為 人類作出一種貢獻，加添一種叫「自知之明」的基因會是一個不錯的選擇．

這些商業巨人如巴菲特，蓋茨等有同樣特性，就是樸素生活，巴菲特四十年來還是駕駛著他那架殘舊的小型福特汽車，最喜愛吃的還是Burger King的漢堡包，盡管可口可樂是他其中一隻最得意最獲利的企業股票，但他的最愛還是百事可樂，每天下午時二點上網玩橋牌，晚上十時睡覺．

而蓋茨經常性在他的辦公室內一邊工作一邊吃薄餅，他的腦袋也大部份是電腦電腦電腦．也許他花了大量金錢在西雅圖的別墅，但要是說他熱愛他的辦公室比較多還是喜歡待在家中比較多，有誰說得上？

書中有些地方是特別吸引我的，當巴菲特出身的時候是１９２０年代，美國的股票泡沫爆 破，１９２９年１０月２９日的「黑色星期二」，美國股市在一天之內狂跌１４０愈美元，相當於美國政府總預算四倍的財富，在幾小時內完全蒸發掉．巴菲特父親的雇主銀行倒閉，失去了工作而且所有在銀行的儲蓄也領不到．

之後英國放棄了「金本位制」(Gold Standard)*，意味債台高築的英國政府在沒有足夠黃金支持下，以印更多鈔票來償還貸款．這個決定讓原本鍍金的機構都信用破產，全世界金融市場跌入谷底．

這讓我想到差不多一百年後歷史又再從演，只不過主角們已經由英國美國轉變到美國中國．

１９世紀英國國勢世界之強自稱「大不列顛」，離開上帝後祝福從英國走到美國，God Save the Queen變成印在美元上的In God We Trust．美國成為２０世紀的世界最強在現在走英國的後路，上帝的祝福在２１世紀離開美國走到中國．

現實地看美國現在已經在缺乏黃金的支持下以印製鈔票來償還貸款，中國成為接棒者（不管她願意不願意），代表保值的黃金已經慢慢會流向中國．人性地看強盛後帶來傲慢，傲慢就帶來毀滅．

 

七十年後巴菲特回頭看，對我來說是最有同感的一段是：「影響人們行事的一大因素，在於他們拿的是一張內在成績單還是外在成績單．能安於內在成績單，對你有好處．」

他問：「你想做人們以為是最差的情人，但其實是世上最棒的情人，還是人們以為是最棒的情人，但其實是最差的情人？」這的確是一個很難回答的問題．

愛心與金幣的故事

星期日第三次有份負責兒童主日學，主題講《愛心》，我要負責遊戲部份．於是設計了一個新遊戲因為ｄ教材比較老套．我想有一些是他們能夠實際參與的東西，和他們日常生活掛鉤，盡管他們只得兩至五歲．而在旁邊觀察他們性格行為，基本上已經可以知道他們一生以後的命運．

星期六晚上打印了一百個愛心，一百個金幣．

開始時他們每個人要隨機抽一張字條，上面寫了他們一開始有多少個愛心和多少個金幣．一個人一開始不會多於十個愛心或十個金幣．之後我就講述一些日常生活的事情，作不干預他們的情況下叫他們自己決定如何做．

例如有人跌倒隻腳傷左，有人工作得到十個金幣，甚至今日放假大家出來玩自由喜歡如何就如何．一共有九個小朋友玩，最少的兩歲剛剛明幾個字，最大的五歲．一個最大的死人都唔玩．

經過十幾件事之後就計算每個人手上有多少個愛心和多少個金幣．最後大部份的金幣都集中在一個男孩手上，而大部份的愛心都集中在一個女孩手上．這個遊戲就是現實社會的寫照．

說真的現場見到可以笑死人，要是一個管理者管得到世界上所以小朋友和女人，他就是世界上最好的管理者．小朋友沒有自我約束力，本性就出來；女人善變，你是沒有辦法估計．

你不明白為甚麼那麼女孩所有小朋友都很願意給她愛心，她「跌傷了」又比，她在「學校比人讚」又比，但她不是十分漂亮，又不是很會說話，總之有事發生在她身上，沒有外來力的情況下其他人就自動獻出他們的愛心．

而 那個最後得到最多金幣的男孩，由頭到尾基本上沒有發生太多事在他身上，他又自成一角，甚麼事都沒有做，但其他小朋友很自然就會比金幣他．到事件「放假自由 喜歡如何就如何」，沒事發生，那個最多愛心的女孩主動走過去比金幣他，人比他就要，多謝都不會講，但其他人都是不停地比他．

其中有個男孩不多金幣不多愛心，但每一次得到都很快付出，有一次他一次過得到十個金幣，我問他會如何做，他很快就派晒手上的金幣和愛心．最後是完全沒有金幣沒有愛心．

而 他的弟弟簡直是一個天才（四歲），他像他哥哥一樣很快付出他的金幣和愛心，但他為自己留下一個金幣，走到我身邊交給我，說：「我要放入銀行．」但在遊戲中 完全沒有人灌輸「銀行」給他，連我也沒把自己當成銀行．但他就「存」了他最後的一個金幣．因為他一早已經付出了他所有，所以之後他都無所事事，但他天才在 過了幾件事後他又走到我身邊，說：「我要拿回兩個金幣！」

有一個非常自私，有人有事他會大叫我是甚麼都不會比的！還哈哈大笑，但有人派金幣他就照要，又大笑．一開始他有三個愛心，四個金幣，最後得到三個愛心，五個金幣．

我相信性格決定命運，甚麼人得到關心得到利益已經預定，這些小孩子人生的結果不會和這個遊戲的結果差太遠．聖經說：凡有的，還要加給他，叫他有餘；凡沒有的，連他所有的，也要奪去。

那個最後得到最多金幣的男孩是不太理人，這樣的人信得過，錢不是集中在最聰明的人手上， 而是集中在信得過的人手上．

那個最後得到最多愛心的女孩是最理人，和其他小朋友最多互動，人的心不是集中在最漂亮最性感最有吸引力的人身上，而是集中在最多和人接觸的人身上．

只付出的最後真的甚麼也沒有，但他也不在乎，有時他們會得到很多，但很快又沒有了．最後有點失落，但很快又忘記了，很快樂的樣子．

自私的人自以為聰明，不付出只求回報，最後沒多沒少，不付出的人是不可能有回報的，有的都是運氣．

最後那個跑到我身邊的「天才」，他是唯一一個能夠認知我存在的人，而且知道在我身上能夠得到甚麼回報．但他放得太少了，要是甚麼人把他所有的金幣和愛心都給了我，難道我不會雙倍回報愛心和金幣給他嗎？

所以耶穌說：「我實在告訴你們、人為神的國、撇下房屋、或是妻子、弟兄、父母、兒女、沒有在今世不得百倍、在來世不得永生的．」

因為在遊戲中我是扮演「上帝」的角色 ，最多金幣和愛心的人其實就是我，而且發生甚麼事發生在甚麼人身上是我控制的　：）

P.S. 其 中有一個完全沒有參與遊戲的男孩，他是最大最成熟的男孩，他可以清楚告訴你發生甚麼事，誰最多金幣和最多愛心，分析得很正確很有道理而且頭頭是道．但最可 憐的也是他，他代表這個世界上的「觀察者」，「批評家」，說得很有道理，但其實完全沒有參與過，沒有經驗，甚麼也不知道．說實了這十個小朋友已經足夠代表 了世界上所有人的命運．

東山再起

前幾天和個朋友去戲院看了《交響情人夢最終樂章電影版前編 》，她一開始就話：「你是不會有興趣的」，說實了通常我比 較感興趣的電影要不是大卡史大製作，好像《變型金剛》， 要不是就是愛上那些很寫實的經典，好像《雷霆救兵》，《教 父》，《舒特拉的名單》，就是有時想看那些不需要用腦 的，都走去那些剛陽味很重的如《Topgun》，《未來 戰士》，《烈火戰車》等動作片．很少去看笑片，完全對恐怖片 沒有興趣．

不過朋友一主觀說：「你是不會有興趣的」，我個人是不能激 的，就是要走進去看看是甚麼的一會事．《交響情人夢 》原來是漫畫，後來出了電視劇．朋友已經看完了劇集，十分心急跑去看電影，她好像不太想我去的，不停地說不好浪費時間啦，於是我話：「話晒我都學過下鋼琴」，她又覺得好合理．於是「批准 」了我睇．

故事是電視劇的延伸 ，主角千秋（玉木宏飾）是一個音樂天才，在指揮大賽中獲勝 成為冠軍，卻得不到維也納當時最有人氣的樂團取用，成為另一 個過氣傳統卻很受尊重的「盧馬列管弦樂團」 為常任指揮．

當時維也納最有人氣的樂團以商業成功為主導，選擇了外表比較 體面的亞軍作樂團監製，滿天其合作的宣傳廣告．

而千秋進入的「盧馬列管弦樂團」 是以音樂為主導，有過她的光輝時代，但現在飽受隊員士氣低迷，財困影響演奏得一團糟， 令千秋非常失望．而且「盧馬列管弦樂團」的團長西蒙思想偏 激，對新來年輕的千秋看不進眼內，而其樂團的長期支持者 已經對她的表現成半放棄，故事就是講千秋如何在內外受壓的情 況下重整「盧馬列管弦樂團」．

「盧馬列管弦樂團」有一段非常光耀的歷史，風光一時無樣， 但因團隊帶領的分裂，三份一的團員一去不回頭，留下一些老弱 殘兵，從此一落千丈．

在千秋不停的改革加入新血等方法下，樂團開始有點氣息，大 家意識到千秋雖然很嚴格難頂，但是他的確有團隊需要的東 西，在最後演出出場時，團長西蒙對千秋說：「可能這個樂 團對你來說只是一個踏腳石，但對我來說沒有一天不想到當 年我們叱吒風雲，無人左右，如果你真的有本領，希望你能夠幫 助我們東山再起！」

前陣子公司搬辦公室，公司舊同事收拾，從老闆房間找出很多 以前部門的獎，有時食飯聽到他們說下以前部門的戰績，我 想以前我們部門都有過的很風光光榮的日子；門下人數多， 業績彪炳，現在分散，舊人支離破碎，新人質素參差不齊，大老 闆就快退休，看他心有不甘，老闆需要東山再起．

又看老豆的教會以前也有過不錯的日子，教友合群，人數眾多， 老豆和他的同工們合作無間，在講台上如魚得水，人得以 看見上帝的榮耀（雖然對於當時還是小孩子的我簡直痛苦）， 分裂後三份一會友離開，支離破碎，教會需要東山再起．

之前在中國工作的老闆工廠最高峰時生意一年過億，現在飽受 金融海潚及兌換率打擊，連他自己的兒子都叫他太辛苦不好做罷 了，他的工廠需要東山再起．

以前我的小學足球隊，踢到天下無敵腳，心有靈犀，大家都很 簡單，對大我們很多的人都不怕，現在大家出來做事，人變 得複雜，之前大家又有機會踢球，感覺還在，我們需要東山再 起．

英國大學時有班朋友住在一起，很多時候通宵達旦打機玩Warcraft，Starcraft． （不能給香港的父母知的>.<）， 現在大家各有各忙，分散各地，我們需要東山再起．

有朋友以前有好幾間酒吧，每晚夜上玩得瘋狂，現在一去不復 返，他說他要東山再起．

以前香港的電影動作真功夫，現在劇本無聊，製作不認真，成日 想得荷李活認同， 香港電影需要東山再起．

以前七十年代香港足球叱吒亞洲，頂尖中的頂尖，現在日本韓 國成為亞洲雄獅，東亞打敗了別人的三線球隊就以為好有型，別 人望的卻是世界，香港足球需要東山再起．

看完《交響情人夢最終樂章電影版前編 》後發現太多太多的人事物需要東山再起．

對，東山再起！

天使（下）

當我集資的時候在一個外人眼中說白了就是拿著一本小簿子直接問人拿錢．沒有甚麼技巧手法說服：「我打算成立一個基金，你最少可以比一蚊就可以參加支持一下，最多是沒有上限．」

這 種集資可追溯到古時的歐洲海邊，一眾船長把他們的船泊在岸邊，然後向岸邊市集的鄉親父老大叫：「現在我打算出海做買賣，但行駛我的船需要資金，信得過我 的叔伯兄弟可以放小小錢在我的船上，如果我的買賣賺了錢，回來的時候大家就有多些錢；如果賺不了錢，這樣就對不起了；如果我的船沉了，大家就在天堂見 吧！」

結果那些岸邊的市民就看下這個人那條船，根據他們的眼光交他們的錢給不同的船長，而那些船長們就把他們的名字記下來．

這就是投資，現代的投資原則上跟古時沒有太大分別，只是現在的升斗小民是透過上網交錢，而銀行保險公司就成為現代「船長」（其實就是基金經理）的代理人．

所以投資永遠和風險在一起，風險就是海上的不變數，再好的船，再有經驗的船長都敵不過大自然，天意是人控制不了的．以前的水手求神拜佛就是這個原因，希望出海順順利利，中國人的「一帆風順」也有這種味道．

但現在包括自己未有這種出海的感覺，第一我們坐船的經驗就是由尖沙咀到中環的渡海小輪，不是以前要坐幾年可以經歷變幻莫測天氣的巡洋艦 ．第二沒有太多人願意冒險，但卻要求很高的回報．

投資和賭博不同的是，賭博是由機會率安排，但投資是有人為的變數，所以現實中存在真實的「股神」卻沒有真實的「賭神」．

當我集資的時候可以說是幻想自己回到古代迷人的大航海時代，除了現在各種不同的法律管制體現了西方的俚語：「愈多法律，愈少公義」 (The more laws, the less justice）我願意從拾最基本最古老但最有效的經濟基礎－信任．

我 把第二次集資稱為「天使投資者」(Angel Investors)分成兩種，第一種是「墮落的天使」，第二種是「善良的天使」．「善良的天使」通常不會問太多，認識你這個人，知道你的為人，通常不太 在意回報，大概佔７成左右，卻成為９成的資金來源；而「墮落天使」的第一關心的就是自身利益回報，而且以為全部人都是和他們一樣．

「善良的天使」中也有問得很仔細的，但其中最大的分別就是他們先付出才問，而「墮落的天使」是不太願意付出，只要你解釋中有一點不確定，就會發大他們的疑問．花的時間最多，得到結果卻少得可憐．好處是這種「找錯處」的精神幫助了我修補不同的盲點．

當然現實不是只有黑和白，大部份 「天使投資者」都是在兩個極端中間的灰色地帶，但總有一邊是主導著他們．投資這種東西就是信任和付出，信任錯了付出很多和信任對了卻沒有付出同樣得不到令人滿意的回報．

其中有位朋友連聽也不聽就寫了張一萬元的支票，另外一個英國的朋友寫了幾隻字就立刻匯了一千英鎊．當我告訴另一位「天使投資者」時，他說他們這樣做是非常「愚蠢 」，最後自己放下幾元．

最後誰是真正「愚蠢的天使」，是需要時間來證明．不管如何，這些「天使投資者」都是令這件事成的先驅者，享有特殊的意義．

Love,

Calvin 28/02/2010

天使（上）

新年父母返大陸，自己一個人在家清靜收拾一下，不用拜年，從拾一下留學時的自由，一個字：正！

一個人在家不到一日就病倒了，其實仲好，病時打機會頭痛，結果一個人靜靜地收拾衣服，看下書，反省一下過去一年有甚麼可以改善，常常感覺到事情可以是好一點，為甚麼力不從心呢？

過去一年發生了好幾件事，其中一樣經歷感受最深的是有成立一個基金的主意，結果很自然就慢慢轉成行動．這在我的生命中很久都未發生過．

事 情很簡單，０９年５月時我要開始學習推銷一種投資產品，我不知道其他人，但我自己的原則是我未擁有過的產品我是不會推銷的，這是一種責任也是一種信心． 不過由於這種投資產品入場費要６０００美元，不是我能力承擔，結果由四位人集資了十多萬，終於可以從用家的角度操作一下．

盡管頭幾個月一直都在下跌，但到十一月左右感覺不錯，就產生了成立自己的基金的想法，每個月填寫基金報告．由於遊戲規則是自己定，我的想法是成立一個環球性的基金，包容最多的人，所以把入場金額設定到一港元，而且接受任何法定貨幣．

從外面來說這沒有甚麼，但對我來說經歷了一個很大的轉變，某角度來說好像每天都要花很多氣力在自己的腦海中打破一條出路．

這個意念好像一個剛剛出身，脆弱的嬰孩很容易就會死掉，原則上很多時間我都有這是不是必須的想法不要弄這麼東西，最後發現嬰孩必須容許他多受打擊才能生存下去，要不是他永遠都會這樣脆弱．

當到十二月時開始有７％左右的回報，就真的有信心第二次集資．

在所有的投資項目中（包括事業，感情），第一層的投資者叫Seed Capital，他們一定是你最親密最信任的人，而且最主要的推動力是因為是你．其他人問？想都不要想．

而 第二層的投資者叫Angel Investors（天使投資者），故名就是你的天使，通常會是朋友或家人親友．原則上他們好像為這個脆弱的嬰孩提供保護，令他繼續生存下去．如果這個嬰 孩最後長不大，各位天使就白白浪費了心血；如果這個嬰孩將來成為一個偉大的人，每位天使回報就根據他們付出了多少．

結果我就向身邊的朋友親戚同事上司集資，投資從一元到十萬都有，盡管有的只是一元，他們的確真正是我的天使（雖然很多都是墮落的天使，哈哈！）但其中集資的過程才是真正的有趣．．．

Music: 陶喆 - Angel

P.S. 我是非常幸運，也可以說這個投資項目包容力極強，一般寫實的Angel Investors可能是一些你不認識的人，在投資市場已經十分成熟的美國他們可以是一組一組出現，可能是一個非常有錢但要求十分高的人，可以是一間公司 如波士頓最大的Angel Investors叫Common Angels，另外有一間叫Band of Angels，有個擁有很多天使投資組的網站叫Angel Capital Association.

http://www.angelcapitalassociation.org/

愛情全保

之前有位資深人稱「阿叔」同事舉行分享會，有點黑色幽默地說感覺別人銀行賣金，自己好像在賣屎．

保險只在賣一樣東西：「保證」．它的價值 就在「保證」，一般人不知道要把「保證」兩隻字打進張保單背後要花多少功夫．這個說回報不夠高，那個說這些投資有 潛力有遠景．不管你如何吹噓，你一問；「是不是保證先？」你只會得到三個字：「有．可．能．」．事實上世界上大部份的人都看不見東西的價值，把金當屎，卻 將很多糞便當成金．

在這個世界上保證是十分難，之前把我炒掉的那位老闆經常說我為人「滑頭」，因為經常沒有肯定，如果我很認真誠實地回答，其實任何人有點自知之明，沒有人真的能夠保證，沒有條件也沒有能力．

如果有一天我成了老闆，甚麼人拍拍心口說：「你交比我做，我可以保證！」我一定叫他老實一點．你點保證？你連明天是生是死你都保證不了．

有 一位英國同學回港在機場工作，有時怨制度太複雜，檢查完又檢查，效率太低，心想如果改革簡化自己的工作一定更加爽快．但當你作為航天事業的CEO，你的 看法就不一樣，當你要「保證」一個引擎沒有問題，就不敢簡化制度，你會寧願檢查十次去確定完全沒有問題，你會寧願叫乘客多等一兩小時，而不寧願為了效率失 事一次．

有些人不太重視金錢，比較重視感情，感情也不能保證．男人女人相愛到結婚，在教堂內說的是：「我願意」誓詞上沒有要求男人說：「我保證」因為上帝知道人是保證不了．但一個女人找到個肯說「我願意」的男人都已經開心得要死，已經足夠．

保 證的東西回報不會很高，感覺有點沉悶，但保證就是這回事．這就是為甚麼有些很漂亮的女星最後嫁給些年齡比較大，身形又比較龐大的生意佬．一眾宅男看得想 自殺，問上天為甚麼這樣不公平〔當然真的以為自己有機會〕．花花公子比較有趣，藝術家比較有性格，醫生比較細心，學者比較斯文，男人的生意經聽到想瞌睡， 但這一切一切比起「安全感」 就真的不重要．

有時候我想那些說：「不在乎天長地久，只在乎曾經擁有」的人是不是真的不在乎，還是在耍酷．愛情不能保證，金錢不能保證，世界本身就是不能保證．保險公司也不能100%保證，你看那一間保險公司作風穩健那一間保證的機會就大一些，只有上帝才能百分百保證．

作為一個人，我只可以對愛情，對家人，對朋友，對投資者，對上帝說我願意．因為我真的全保不了．