改革者的命運

我發現我不寫東西是會死的，如果得罪了人請原諒我吧天主！

當我相信我所遇到的是多麼的不同，在一般人對香港保險界的認知不應該是這樣的，也沒有天真到相信agent被討厭是多麼的不公平，我所相信的是一個Fair Business，而一個Fair Business在一個unfair的世界是多麼的難，保險公司已經是最接近的了．

說到改革不得先看以往改革者的命運．

正如聖經說：你們那一個要蓋一座樓、不先坐下算計花費、能蓋成不能呢。恐怕安了地基、 不能成功、看見的人都笑話他．

意思就是說要計清楚條數先好做野，如果不是就會變成個比人笑的傻仔．

改革者的結局只有兩種．

要不是像菲德爾·卡斯楚般成為獨裁者，他有一句名言：「我知道我會下地獄，但是我會在那裡看到大資本家、竊賊、劊子手和美國總統們。」

就會是像聖女貞德，林肯，馬丁路得金等被人殺死．．．

聖女貞德十七歲以一名農村文盲女孩 ，帶領法國國家軍隊收復當時由英格蘭人佔領的法國失地，她持續領導著軍隊進行了一系列不可思議的勝利，扭轉了整場戰爭的局面。 2年後的19歲由英格蘭當局控制下的宗教裁判所以異端和女巫罪判處她火刑．

林肯的黑人解放運動成就了馬丁路得，馬丁路得金美國民權運動領袖影響了今日的歐巴馬， 50 Cent．

林肯在劇院觀劇時，被奴隸制度支持者、演員約翰·魏克斯·布思刺殺

而馬丁路得金在旅館的陽台被一名刺客開槍正中喉嚨致死，年僅39歲。

比較好的是孫中山，打開了中國五千多年的局面，革命未成，肝癌末期，全肝已堅硬如木，癌細胞四處蔓延，無法割治。香港《華字日報》翌日報導了孫中山的死訊：

「孫文吐嘔大作。不能進食。脈搏驟增至一百六十度。呼吸十八次。極危險。克禮醫生在左右看護。終夜不離。戴天仇為孫草遺囑。唯孫尚未簽字...孫文病至十日晚大變。腹脹加增。克禮為之打針放水。今日上午九點三十五分鐘逝世。當彌留時。戴天仇代草遺囑。孫科急電粵民黨要人來京。」

彌留之際，孫中山提到國事的遺言是：「和平……奮鬥……救中國！」 還有「革命尚未成功，同志仍需努力!」

要明白他們都是成功的，但代價一定要付，計數不是說最後能否生存，而是計算需要付的代價是否值得．

盡管我很想早點上天堂，在香港要咁激好難，最多比人炒，哈哈．

而我想望的改革只是像以前的螺旋槳引擎改革到噴射引擎那種，對大家都有好處．．．　後話．

第一型改革者

寫完上一篇「捽數大會前夕」 有個朋友告訴我，這樣寫不太好有很多同事會看的，想想也是得罪人不太好，告訴她我回去洗掉好，她又連忙耍手她先要個copy，因為寫得不錯，我們就是這樣矛盾．

上培訓時有經驗的保險從業員也告訴我們會有的Rookie Mistake：不要贏了場架，輸了個生意　(Win the argument, lose the business)

他們卻未想過有一個人入行，從來未想過是要贏架，也未想過要做生意．

九型人格中的第一型，名為改革者、完美型、完美主義者、跟從原則者、改進型 。

健康的特點：容忍、講理、客觀，是非分明，理想崇高，願意為社會進步而改革

不健康的特點 ：自以為是，總以為自己對，別人錯 ，偽君子，滿口仁義道德，背地裏卻做不見得光的事

處於安定和人格提升時：會放下拘謹的形象，能夠自嘲，有創意，肯作新嘗試，會接納他人意見。 

處於壓力和自我防衛時：情緒化，反覆無常，憂鬱，自我批判，有時會自戀自憐，自暴自棄，沮喪和充滿無用感，但卻會執著和堅持到底。

過九個月了，我已經明白要做的事，在金融海嘯中世界對保險界失去信心，除了因為香港市民對保險的偏見跟無知，更要怪很多無良的agent做成的．要修正這個情況，沒有agent願意犧牲自己的客源而說一些得罪米飯班主的說話，也不需要一個大型運動大家遊行大叫Viva Revolution．

只有一個agent漠視失去生意的可能性，而願意站出來說該說的話就夠了．這種人必要是少數的第一型改革者．

而下這個決定　＝　放棄人的讚美，對異性的魅力 ，同行的認同，金錢的誘惑 ，直至結果出現．

要是把自己說得太過神聖就另人反感了，我不是不喜愛金錢，人的認同及女人的迷戀，要是你走進入我的腦海，我很有自信你會發現我想耍的樂子比你有可能幻想得到的更勝千萬，特別是令女人快樂的方面　：）

但當看到將來更美好的事物，這些就比下去．最後想看到的是大量的人，特別是自己關心的人明白願意接受保障，是不是跟我買跟本不重要．

入行後朋友（特別不是買的）最有興趣知的有兩樣．

１．你地是不是要上天台喊口號？

２．你老闆係咪成日捽你數？

１．公司在銅鑼灣利園天台在６０數，全部人上得到去應該都唔會有氣喊口號．

２．昨天見識過了．．．．

捽數大會前夕

明天終於有第一次official的捽數大會，當然公司不是叫捽數大會，哈哈．寫一篇日記留為記念．

入行的時候身邊的人分成三組，紅組都是鳥獸散，怕比我sell．

藍組都是關心，怕我誤入歧途，變成現實主義者的信徒．

而綠組都是身處安全的海外例如英國．

To 紅組，你揀人，人揀你，你怕agent sell，agent都怕麻煩，買保險不是買筆，是一個終身的承諾，MDRT百萬圓桌會的handbook講，最怕見到ｄ客係舉棋不定，不理智可以感性，有偏見的可以修正，沒有錢的可以等待，但舉棋不定試一兩次就要Next，當然是買保險Next，不是朋友Next．

你會發現有些朋友很懂關心，有些可以談心，有些一起工作上很有效率，有些玩樂是一絕，但不是個個都適合做一些長期合約，關心談心工作玩樂都好，但有樣東西約束 一世真的是thank you very much.

三種人不能買保險：沒有錢，沒有健康，沒有責任心，而責任心放在第一．沒有責任心的人有錢都不會買多，但手尾要求多，避之唯恐不及，買都另請高人．

To 藍組，通常不外乎你不適合，大材小用，人會變得好現實．．．

真的很多人都不適合，做agent要求主動性，十個都不會有一個，香港agent大概有一萬多個，是七百個香港人就有一個是做保險的．開始一聽都以為競爭好大，了解之後發現真係做事的10%都唔知有沒有， 大部份都是吊下吊下鹽水，比老闆「卒」數又死唔去，結果d錢就碌晒入個10% 認真做事的agent袋中．．．

大材小用不只是讀者人這樣認為，連公司有些同事都這樣說，看來很多agent都把自己的工作看得很低．想當年出國讀書夢想到美國做汽車設計師，現在兩間最大的車廠都不知仲會唔會存在，真的是風水輪流轉．

李小龍話：我讀得書小，你唔好厄我！現在我話：我讀得書多，你唔好蝦我！

原來讀得書太多真的是廢，文化有時連人基本的求生本能都殺掉，你試下叫個pHD去cold call，最後發現平時論點最叫人拍案叫絕的文人雅仕有事時只會再讀書，實際解決問題的人都是平日唔聲唔聲的平民百姓，做了廿年文人雅仕，現在做了兩個月平民百姓就自動收聲．

至於變得好現實，貪錢的人做甚麼工都貪錢，不貪錢的人入行也不會突然變得貪錢，我一開始入行就不是看錢份上，錢只是一個by-product，但奇怪的是我愈是這樣的態度錢就愈多，再仔細看成功的agent都不會把錢放到第一位，要不是對自己有要求就是追求滿足感，而以為保險可以賺到好多錢而入行的agent通常都會好痛苦．

甚麼是不現實？以為保險一定是錢錢錢錢就真的不現實，就好像以為醫生一定是血

血血血，警察日日都是槍槍槍槍槍．．．

To 綠組，你現在身處非常安全的地方，因為歐美等先進國家的保險體系十分成熟，已經不需要agent等煩人．

基本上我的工作是幫人計算所需保險，說白了就是計算客人的性命值多少錢（如個客願意），如只是靠agent的推銷技巧簽的單大多很不好feel，因為佢都唔知自己做ｄ咩，老實說agent的死亡率不見得比個客低，成日問做長唔長，聽日個agent死左點算？都唔係佢賠錢．

現實就是龍蛇混雜，基層，中產跟上流各有自己的問題，不滾一滾仲以為天下無敵．

所以周潤發在臥虎藏龍話：握緊拳頭,裡面什麽也沒有;張開雙手,你就擁有了整個世界．

與夜間的士司機叔叔的對話

很久沒寫東西了，連英文都沒有寫，寫作是用力的，特別是中文，打幾隻字就累死人．沒事幹寫下寫下都覺得：又ok呀．點知一開工就mood都冇晒．過了好多日終於遇到些值得花氣力寫的事情．

上星期六晚參加了表姊Edwina在尖沙咀的化妝生日會，個Party在間'Club'開了間VIP房，任飲男仔$260一位，女仔$220．比面Edwina冇得飲都去，想扮Matrix個Neo或賭神，最後扮左賭神．

當夜像一般的派對，見到大家自己都幾開心，認識幾位新朋友，影下相，生日蛋糕，玩下骰盅，其他人唱下卡拉OK等．

如果不是星期六第二日要返教會，可以去盡ｄ，到了清晨一點半左右就先走．

人生有趣的地方是你永遠都不知道是誰改變你的命運，好像'奇幻逆緣（the curious case of benjamin button)'內的對白：You never know what's comin' for ya.

人往往期望或以為一些成功，他們看得起的人才會帶給他們命運的改變，最後卻發現改變你命運的人總是一些你身邊的無名氏，一本你沉悶得發慌才看的書，或乘車時旁邊一個講電話的人，一個睡不著才看的電視節目．

清晨一點半沒有火車，就上了在club門口等待的一架的士出沙田．

飲了幾杯如水的'之華氏'，加幾瓶啤酒，十分清醒，同個司機叔叔聊天．就是這樣才發現一程的士是整晚的戲肉．

問下司機叔叔而家係咪全部的士都係石油氣，做左幾耐，原來已經做了三十五年，差不多退休，兩個仔都大過我結晒婚．．．

司機叔叔：你咁後生大把前途啦．

自己：個個後生都以為自己天下無敵大把前途架啦．

司機叔叔：後生你就鍾意玩，見識多ｄ．有冇女朋友呀？

自己：有．．．

司機叔叔：我同你講，咩都可以玩，感情千萬唔好玩．．．

自己：唔唔，試過兩三次就知．（其實我未試過玩）

司機叔叔：係呀， 試過兩三次就知．

自己： 即係你試過啦．

司機叔叔：係呀，當你見到個女仔你自己會好痛苦．

自己：唔唔．

司機叔叔：我同你講，當你有左新一個，就係你以前好鍾意個個搵返你，你都會覺得佢好討厭，你無辦法再喜歡佢．人就是會不斷向前，你沒有得選擇．

自己：（流汗中）前面轉左．

司機叔叔：o黎到停得唔得？

自己：（得到點解脫）ok.

停標$90.2，我比左張一百唔使找．

司機叔叔：多謝．

回家父母已經睡了，我一個人坐在自己的房裡面．

今晚個Party幾好玩，但ｄ酒cheap到：比ｄ'之華氏'稀過水，啤酒就比blue girls, 收就收$260，你同客計我就同佢計．飲你６枝啤，我知酒樓10蚊三枝，但係個道係尖沙咀上樓，d租一定貴，起碼４０蚊枝．$40 x 6 = $240，加幾杯'之華氏'水，燈油火蠟水電煤等．．．

人在罪性中打滾沒有得選擇，需要的是解脫，盡管是短暫的，酒女人背後的吸引力就是短暫的解脫．我比$260得不到，間酒吧就不明白客人需要，只顧賺錢，我作為個客人就同你吝惜，同你計到盡．

個司機叔叔打開個心，盡管他不知道自己做了甚麼，我作為個客人得到解脫，盡管是短暫的，我就同佢慷慨，覺得10%的貼士都是超值．

所以聖經說：有施散的、卻更增添．有吝惜過度的、反致窮乏。好施捨的、必得豐裕．滋潤人的、必得滋潤。

我一年前已經想開間酒吧，這間酒吧要有最好的酒，最好的音樂，最好的服務，沒有人會同客人計錢，來的人都是充滿人生不同經歷，他們是世上的跑路人，他們唯一的共同點是要找個舒服的地方，暫時忘記現實的痛苦．他們的問題得到解決，付錢就甘心樂意．

因為愈來愈發現這個世界可花錢的人太多，可找到慰藉的地方極少，這也是符合市場學的supply and Demand.

這是給不願意接受救恩的第二選擇．這也是符合神學的所謂'普遍恩典'

做得正確會是一個Guarantee Success.

我把這間酒吧命名為The Salvation.

My First Job interview!

I think i had a good start in 2009, hippppppieeeeee!! ^_^

So today I have interview my first guy for my coming team as a manager, in order to build up a very solid foundation in insurance industry.

He is introduced by one of my clients.

You need to be very confident otherwise people disrespect you as a manager, you need to be someone people can look up to, rely on, at the same time you need to prepare to babysit, become a target for complaining, attack, abuse....etc i would like to quote one of my favorite books: the rules of management

"Careers adviser: What would you like to do when you leave school?

16-year-old: I want to be a manager.

Did this happen to you? No, me neither. But there you are anyway.

As a manager you are expected to be a lot of things. A tower of strength, a leader and innovator, a magician (conjuring up pay rise, resources and extra staff at the drop of a hat), a kindly uncle/aunt, a shoulder to cry on, a dynamic motivator, a stern but fair judge, a diplomat, a politician, a financial wizard (no, this is quite different from being a magician), a protector, a Saviour and a saint.

you are responsible for a whole gang of people that you probably did not pick, may not like, might have nothing in common with and who perhaps won't like you much."

hmmmmm, sounds great! >.<

This guy came to me, and guess what he told me? that he got a PHD and huge human network if he make some phone calls his friends will come, do anything, block bullets and die for him? not really...

He was telling me he has lost both of his parents, currently unemployed, her elder sister just got marry can barely support the family, 2 of his younger sisters are still studying, he is getting Comprehensive Social Security Assistance from the government.

I cannot help it but immediately want to help him, the more i work in the company, the more i see in this industry, the more i understand the beauty of this industry is you can never underestimate anyone.

People living in the society, their dress always imply how successful they are, but it does not in insurance, the top sales are not some handsome man who can talk like a charm, but some 40 years old women you can't even remember her face on the street when she walked pass you.

People who is earning million a year probably someone you find his looks funny, and point out laughing.

And you can also find some nice people in the office always produce so little pleasing their manager is their only way to survive.

So I would like to say I am so confident things will turn out great, I do not need a PHD or someone got IQ150, I need someone who work hard and stay strong and consistent and reliable, don't care if he is gay or under dog or dress up like a Santa Claus.

Man, hope is awesome!

Salesman and Obama

Company require us to meet up with our manager to discuss our new year plan, how to improve performance and such, then we had a day training.

So I went in to see my manager's manager's manager to discuss my "career", he is a nice guy holding a PHD in phiolophy, deep thinker...

Since my performance did not go so well in the last 6 months, he needed to talk to me and see what is going on.

I explain I have problem adjusting my brain to this new envirnoment, and the most fundamental problem is it is hard for me accepting my job position is a salesman, which I have never thought it would be.

There are a lot of reason, and of course it includes I was educated in England, and my family value myself very high, and this job can basically fit everyone, from freshly graduate from high school to PHD holder. I would expect I should be someone more "important" than a regular salesman after my education background.

As expected this manager have to resolve my issue.

He told me he sees himself as a educator (obviously), I think there were few good points to make me feel better.

In someway all of us are keep selling something in our life, when we say nice things or we chase after skirts, we are selling ourself as a good person or a good boyfriend.

CEO need to sold and present his ability as a management material.

And we all sell ourselves when we do job interview.

Obama sold the concept of "change" successfully, he did not even get to mention what is the contents of "change"? at least our policy clearly states how much will our client get after certain years, and people buy that idea and the whole country embrace himself.

I can even say my dad is selling Jesus and salvation all his life as a preacher.

I finally start to understand and pay respect to this job and not influence by the social value about salesmen, its function and conept lies within us, the only problem is I need to be surethe product I am selling are good for the clients, there is nothing to feel ashame of.

I hope I will be better this year, even I have said that, I want to get on to management levels asap because my strength do not lie in selling but management.

p.s. i did not want to debate with my manager, there is different between salesman and obama, the amercian do not have to pay money now, that's much easier :)

Crazy woman at breakfast

After the morning trainning i went downstair for a breakfast alone.

After getting the food from the fast food shop, I was looking for a place to sit down to enjoy my breakfast, then i saw this weird woman sitting alone look like talking to herself.

I intend to sit opposite to her and see what is going on because i feel there is nobody sit around her while she is pointing fingers in the air.

after the depression and the conversion, I have not much fear towards people, esp. strange people, you see normal people are classify as normal sit on the culture and society value, while strange people can be pioneer, great artist, philosophy, even jesus was consider to be crazy at his time (maybe even now), as well as Newton, Estein, etc.

Anyway, she is totally talking to herself, i think her mental status have already constrain to a stage she is totally living in her own world, it could be something big hit her so hard made her become crazy.

I was at the edge of this stage for couple months, the different is i struggled, being saved then come out afterward.

And when someone have gone through great tragic, either they have changed to someone cruel, very defensive or have total symapthy towards the others, I am glad i was the last type and i know few of my friends have become the first and second.

She took out her nail clip and use it as a mirror to put her lip stick on, then talking at a direction repeated and i think she pretend singing at one stage, and suddenly laugh, i assume her brain came out some sort of happy memory and it trapped her mind, later on become a lot of foul lauguage and curse.

I was having my noodles and looking at her the same time. she need two slaps in order to get her attention, obviously i could not do that.

I wish i could do something but there is nothing i can do, i can only imagine when i was at that stage and trying to get out from a mind trap which was totally helpless.

And i remember those who hurt me and why i wanted to seek for a revenage because i did not understand something lead to a mental disorder, i needed a bigger impact to wake me up, so i coughed twice loudly, right in front of her, she has no respond even i did that when i was only 15 cm away from her.

As I walk away, she is still enjoying her dream, i fully understand what she is going through more than herself, but there is so much man cannot do.

This is the other view of the city Hong Kong.

140 Million of the population is undergoing light depression, 70 Million is currently on medication.

I started to understand when bible said, God let His people to suffer in order to become consolation of the others, and God did let me suffer and become sensitive to pain, i wish i can blame someone or something, but it is not important anymore.