The way we see

Today went hiking with 3 friends, everyone grew mature so I better catch up.

This year is the first time I actually feel I am a local hk-ese, consider place to eat, play and have fun, like all hong kong people, hard to adapt at first but soon will able to pick up.

When we were young, I believe the way i think, i was always right and figure out a way to change the world and all those injustice, to make things revolve around us.

Later on i found out the world has never changed and will never change, as I grow up, i watch the same book, watch the same movie, listen to the same words, i just thought, oh well, what did i know.

I am so glad I picked to right job to get down-to-earth and realistic in an incredible speed, I had some doubt at first, but the more I stay, the more I see and it is too exciting to me.

I felt like Newton being hit by apples fallen from the tree, except I was hit by 100 instead of one, it is awesome.

For example, when i was like 5, I always like to go to McDonald, all I cared is the burger, it cost  $5.

Later on the way I attracted to McDonald is because the girl I really liked go there very often, I found out those cute little toys come with the meals do attract girls to spend.

After that I was doing my university in England, i start to take notice the pay roll in McDonald as a part time job.

When i was working in China, I understand how cheap those toys are made in China and how McDonald purchase those toys to maximize their profit margin.

And now I have entered the business world, whenever I went into a McDonald, I start to understand their management style, advertising and the elements make them a guarantee success.

In 20 years, McDonald have not changed fundamental, I do.

It works in every single things I conduct these days, it completely blow my mind! I love it!

Simple life

I never thought this job would make my life simpler, God's leading keep letting me see the way i used to think is wrong, bias towards many things.

I thought i was already so complicated, why do i have to go into a field require more complication? In the end i found out this field require people to be simple minded.

Cold call? You don't care whether he is the president of the united states or a drug addicts, you do and say exactly the same thing.

When i go out to meet up with friends, you just take normal stuffs, ask them whether they need insurance, if yes, good, if no, never mind.

I wake up at 8 everyday, arrive at the office at 9, meeting till 10, lunch around 12:30, left around 5-6, dinner appointment if possible. Football on Saturday morning, weekend fellowship, couple drinks at night, sunday morning service, sports and dinner meeting randomly with my peer groups, volleyball, badminton, hiking, football, i guess if it is summer swimming would be in the list too!

Colleagues seldom have interaction, Manulife is such a traditional company can drive active people crazy sitting in the office all day, sometimes i can't bear it i had to go downstairs to play couple games in the game station.

The manager concern about my outlook, the way i talk, whether the right words should be used, no bad feeling, whether the color of the ties fits my shirt, or my hair are too long...

It is like back to boarding school.

I always thought i need a simple life, not that my life weren't simple, my thoughts weren't, so i was convinced if i live a place with a lot of pure people my trouble would go away.

There were time i wanted to hide in Europe, and there was another time i was working in China, maybe i can marry a local girls can settle down for some small business.

Later on i found out if my mind is complicated or i think too much, no matter how quiet and simple the place is, my life will always be complicated.

The wisdom of God is always above human's understanding, my boss say this field is a place for mind game, i disagree, i could not imagine i could find such a simple life in one of the busiest city in the world. Whether what other people think? It doesn't matter.

Pursuit of happiness

It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

–         pursuit of happyness (2006)

I always believe in an ideology despite the reality shown me they are good ideas, say if a perfect system exist, the imperfect lies amount the human.

American was never look so good when the hollywood created a beautiful packaging amount, like many of us, there is nothing wrong with it because sometimes we need packaging for other to believe, that's how the each person works, each society works and how the world works.

To me I don't want to be like that, i want to be someone my inside and outside match each other, if I am happy, my appearance show I am happy, if i am sad, my face should be sad, when I am jealous, i tell someone i am jealous and when i am anger, you don't want to see that.

I like that movie, maybe it has exaggerated from the real story a bit, never or less the idea is clear.

Happiness need to be pursuit.

Anyone who dream of something beautiful and do not put that into action, all those dreams will remain dreams, what the declaration of Indepedence clarify the RIGHT to pursuit all those things, freedom to work hard and enjoy life, under this boundry, we don't see many amercian work hard for their life.

Today I met a client, a brother of my friend, I was dead honest to tell him that success belongs to few, true happiness won't come without tears.

American is a country believe in freedom, even with that most people do not pursuit but wait for happiness to come, it will never happen.

Hong Kong lies between the western world and the eastern world, in a cruel way we do not dare to obtain the freedom western has already taken for granted, neither we want to be trapped in the extreme traditional chinese culture, it makes people harder to gain an objective, just don't see the point.

I have to work from a very basic fundation, my mum started to suggest the idea i should work for the government, stable job in another word, understandable from parents' point of view, but I can't do that anymore when i am carrying something more important than my happiness.

Yet I know I will have it.

The night is darkest just before the dawn

Haven't written for awhile, mostly too tired and spend time mess around with GTA IV.

Hong Kong is an interesting place, working in the center of the heat you have people earning a million per year up in the office while some woman earning few thousand a month just right down the corner of the building, and a meal  just cost you from thirty bucks to few hundred, nowhere in this world can have this scenario around the world.

Now the problem is the financial crisis makes people worry, my company are tense, not that i usually do not affected by the atmosphere, still when sometimes i need some fresh air i just pop downstairs to a bookstore or a game station to relax for several minutes.

Maybe my sense doesn't do much of the work or I have not much money at the moment, I have spent a lot time to concentrate on the training since it is too quiet.

I do call up few friends no matter whether they take it as a wrong intention there are things need to prepare for the coming trouble.

What i see so much depression and fear, require to be understood, of course i can, no one gain as much understanding for someone who has passed the same problem and get over it already.

If you know how much my nature against this position, plus i hate the way people see me, the more i believe God put me in an unreasonable from human point of view for a reason, for consolation and  hope that might be important for those who has been chosen, seize the case between conflict, i wish i can get the job done as quick as possible and get the hell out of there.

The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, actually not me, the dawn is coming.

The art of simplicity

This notes is trigger by a game i recently purchase: Need For Speed: Undercover

You see selling products the agents always have this problem when we found a plan which is perfect for the client yet he/she doesn't like it very much.

This problem go way beyond I have even thought of getting into this industry, in fact all my life when I have important choice the same problem keep coming up, what i like and what really fits me.

Now like it or not I am not a client who make the choice but I am now actually standing from the point of view where I am the person who design plans for my client.

From the small number of the policy I have sold, none of my client have pick the "perfect", when i say perfect of course I don't mean perfect, nothing is perfect, but it is the best fit in the available choice from my trained professional skill, in term of budget, long run return, risk, I do the maths and they all make sense.

Anyway, I have started play this game since I was so disappointed by their last series, need for speed: Prostreet, it sucks! wasted my $280, and I have my revenge by paying extra $270 for their lastest series, NFS: undercover. Btw i am still a big boy, until the day I got something more fun, say a girlfriend i will have to stick with the PC game.

Ok, back to the discussion.

I have played for like 8 hours, it came to this part of the story who I suppose to be a undercover cop who do illegal street racing in order to gain trust from the gang, I have won this race of the boss and it allows me to pick a new car, in the game of course.

There were like 5 cars and it came down to 2 choices, Chevrolet Camaro Concept (which is in the transformer movie) and a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution.

For me (not sure about you), I have lust for the Chevrolet Camaro Concept because her outlook fits my liking, although it is a American muscle car which isn't my style, but it is attractive and eyes candy!

On the other hand, the lancer Evolution which is a japanese tuner, which fits me more, just it doesn't look attractive to me, i am not saying i hate it, i still like it, but she doesn't spark in my eyes, she looks good, but normal compare to the Camaro Concept.

Performance-wise of course the Camaro Concept has high power, weak in handling, while the Lancer Evolution vice-wise.

The problem is I am going to use this car in the upcoming races, I am not allow to test them, the choose has to be now and once.

Camaro looks good, it makes me look good, but i know the Lancer fits me more, thus it will bring me victories, not that Camaro can't bring me victories, just the style of my driving tends to handling than power.

This sort of situation keep coming and coming, from job to woman to place of living.

option 1: very attractive

option 2: very practical in long run.

I am sure there is no right or wrong, but in the end I have picked the Lancer, I felt a little bit disappointed because I kept imagine what it feels like to control such a hot car like the Camaro Concept, but so far I have lost none of the race.

Big problem Small problem.

This Sunday service the speaker who own his own business talked about the recently financial crisis, the worst is yet to come, as well as the company district meeting.

It made me re-address my own financial status and asking few close friends to address that as an issue too, mostly feel comfortable and few feel stress.

It is the time when i feel absolutely powerless how much i can do, I can't be like Jesus stopped the storm by words, and I ain't so great neither, still have trouble working out my past, the one I love greatly misunderstood me, I have guilt towards my family, take pressure from great expectation, hardest time adapting a job I never thought I should be in, and impossible to seek peace from God.

It does occur to me most people, i would say none of the people I have met have shown me a bit of hope that they contains their own problems, relationship, works, worries, family, etc.

I used to think all these small problem will become no problem when a bigger problem comes around, the more I understand this world (only like 4 months), I am wrong.

Enormous talk with friends and relatives let me know the small problem is actually the biggest problem, even to me what trouble me most is why that girl don't talk to me? Or why my father throw away my lovely toy when I was like 5 years old, all these little sad memories cause me problem facing everyday.

Now I would like you to know most people do not admit this is because we are adults it makes us look like a little kids moaning about why my boyfriend say I am fat?

And the reality reflect that it is the truth all these little things seems more important than the big problem personally, say I would like to warn people the financial crisis will hit us harder in the next few years, there are things we need to know, in some extend (not that I do not concern) I felt I am spending so less time practicing my selling techniques or my image, because when the reality hit us, it will force people to put money into secure place e.g. Insurance company, that not i worry about, clients will roll in.

Everyday i would like to talk to people to resolve their little problem, this mother talked about her daughter hasn't come home for few days, she asked me what on earth our teenager think about? The girl concern she will never get marry, or this guy kept saying he is not confident enough to get a girlfriend, my patient is truly tested.

Ignore the money and commission and purely looking at the board picture in front of us, my logics want to scream out: check your priority.

But whenever i want to do that I look at myself, how different am i to them? I might be intelligent, I might be wise, I might have theories, but fundamental I am always trouble by all these little problem, you see i know what to do to prepare for the upcoming crisis, but how long does it take me? 30-60 minutes?

Yet how long does it take me to overcome those little problem of mine? Why the girl i like hate me? Why i have a childhood like that? Why i have so many questions? Why do I have to born? Why i have to struck in here? Why God put me into this difficult position? Will I lose my job?

90% of my time! Not that i ain't working, but for example today, i decided to make more cold calls, yet i have spent 30 minutes sit there in front of the telephone wondering this is too fxxking hard, do a bit facebook, throw few questions, read something, then I decided to go home because I have a holiday tomorrow.

Now this is the little problem that cause the world big problem, never over-population, never the survival of the mankind, only 1% of the population concern about those things, I used to be that 1%, but now it seems I have to learn to focus on these little problem of mine before I try to resolve those big problem.

Law of Large Numbers

Law of Large Numbers (LLN) is a theorem in probability that describes the long-term stability of the mean of a random variable. Given a random variable with a finite expected value, if its values are repeatedly sampled, as the number of these observations increases, their mean will tend to approach and stay close to the expected value.

Too complicated? Ok, for example, what is the chance of throwing a coin getting tail or head? Everyone knows it is 50/50.

but when you actually do it and throw a coin 10 times, what percentage do you get? Maybe 3 heads 7 tail or 6 tail 4 heads right? Yet when you increase the times of throwing, e.g. 100 times, 1000 times, 1 million times, the more you throw, the chance of getting the expected percentage 50/50 will  get closer and closer.

Useless information? I know, but we live under this law every single day, just we don't feel it because none of us will do the same thing over and over again.

How is this practical? It pays extremely important part in insurance, but I am not going to talk about that today.

Recently I am making cold call, according to LLN, the expected successful rate of getting an appointment from cold call is roughly 3%, it means when i make 100 calls to random people, no matter how i charming or use the best techniques, the appointments i will make is between 2-4%.

Most new people who don't know this rules they will spend enormous time to work on their techniques, but after awhile they know it is the same no matter how hard they try, just do it and keep it simple.

I know the theory, yet knowing the theory is one thing, actually do it is another thing, i scared like everyone else, no one want to hear 97 no and only 3 yes.

My manager's manager is a 40 years old woman, career type, when she started her career in insurance she had no friends since she was back from Canada, therefore cold call was the only way, after 15 years she now has roughly 1000+ clients, all from cold calls.

According to this law of large number, and consider she is so good at selling that her successful deal closing rate is 1/3, she have made 100,000 cold calls, in order to get 3000 appointments to achieve that 1000+ clients.

Can you not respect that?

I have started my first 100, and my deal closing rate is so low, like 10%? Long way to go kid, this is crazy.