Big problem Small problem.

This Sunday service the speaker who own his own business talked about the recently financial crisis, the worst is yet to come, as well as the company district meeting.

It made me re-address my own financial status and asking few close friends to address that as an issue too, mostly feel comfortable and few feel stress.

It is the time when i feel absolutely powerless how much i can do, I can't be like Jesus stopped the storm by words, and I ain't so great neither, still have trouble working out my past, the one I love greatly misunderstood me, I have guilt towards my family, take pressure from great expectation, hardest time adapting a job I never thought I should be in, and impossible to seek peace from God.

It does occur to me most people, i would say none of the people I have met have shown me a bit of hope that they contains their own problems, relationship, works, worries, family, etc.

I used to think all these small problem will become no problem when a bigger problem comes around, the more I understand this world (only like 4 months), I am wrong.

Enormous talk with friends and relatives let me know the small problem is actually the biggest problem, even to me what trouble me most is why that girl don't talk to me? Or why my father throw away my lovely toy when I was like 5 years old, all these little sad memories cause me problem facing everyday.

Now I would like you to know most people do not admit this is because we are adults it makes us look like a little kids moaning about why my boyfriend say I am fat?

And the reality reflect that it is the truth all these little things seems more important than the big problem personally, say I would like to warn people the financial crisis will hit us harder in the next few years, there are things we need to know, in some extend (not that I do not concern) I felt I am spending so less time practicing my selling techniques or my image, because when the reality hit us, it will force people to put money into secure place e.g. Insurance company, that not i worry about, clients will roll in.

Everyday i would like to talk to people to resolve their little problem, this mother talked about her daughter hasn't come home for few days, she asked me what on earth our teenager think about? The girl concern she will never get marry, or this guy kept saying he is not confident enough to get a girlfriend, my patient is truly tested.

Ignore the money and commission and purely looking at the board picture in front of us, my logics want to scream out: check your priority.

But whenever i want to do that I look at myself, how different am i to them? I might be intelligent, I might be wise, I might have theories, but fundamental I am always trouble by all these little problem, you see i know what to do to prepare for the upcoming crisis, but how long does it take me? 30-60 minutes?

Yet how long does it take me to overcome those little problem of mine? Why the girl i like hate me? Why i have a childhood like that? Why i have so many questions? Why do I have to born? Why i have to struck in here? Why God put me into this difficult position? Will I lose my job?

90% of my time! Not that i ain't working, but for example today, i decided to make more cold calls, yet i have spent 30 minutes sit there in front of the telephone wondering this is too fxxking hard, do a bit facebook, throw few questions, read something, then I decided to go home because I have a holiday tomorrow.

Now this is the little problem that cause the world big problem, never over-population, never the survival of the mankind, only 1% of the population concern about those things, I used to be that 1%, but now it seems I have to learn to focus on these little problem of mine before I try to resolve those big problem.